Back to Sydney

Now that I am back. Have been busy in finding new home. I have no confidence in staying in my old house now after the incident last year. Hopefully I will be able to settle down as quickly as possible.

Will be busy for the next few days. After that, will still be busy. Hehe.. Till then.. Bye.

24 Hours to Go...

Still, things happen. I had been under a lot of mental stress lately. What make things worse, some people just would not appreciate the time spent together. Within 24 hours to my departure back to Sydney, new problems are created.

Regret.

Trips

I recently thought back about trip. I mean personal trip to a certain place. I remember how I actually asked my parents to let me go on a school trip.

I was standard six. The school is organising a school trip to Sarawak. I asked my parents to let me go as most of my friends are going for this graduation trip. My parents rejected me with various reasons. I was so pissed off. I cried and ignore them for few days. At last, they gave in. I get to go. But, it was too late, the group was full. No more place. I was so so sad.

8 years later, I get my 'revenge'. Haha. I get to go Hong Kong. A personal trip also. I believe this is like a compensation to what I had lost back then. The trip is so fantastic and I believe I should dedicate a post for it later. What I am thinking is, sometimes in life, when you missed a thing, there might be a chance in the future to get it, but it might not come also. So, we must not let the chance to do something leave our hands. Grab it while we can!!!

P.s. I never been to Sarawak until now. Neither I been to Sabah. And these are parts of my regret.

Happy Birthday, Sister!

I wish you a very happy birthday. Although you might be sad that I am leaving you soon, but think positively, I still get to celebrate your birthday with you, here, this year.

Be happy always...

96 hours to go...

I am so fed up here. I just cannot wait to get away from my house. That's why the countdown post exists......

Family and House

Don't know since when, I start to have the feeling that I do not want to stay in the house anymore. Staying in the house only bring lots of unnecessary conflicts and arguments. Family is important, but, staying together is not a necessity.

Maybe because one year in Australia provided me lots of freedom. I can do virtually anything without the need to explain. I will bear the responsibility of my own acts. But then, staying in home again, the restrictions came back.

I must say I grew in an environment without freedom, and I hated it. The sudden arrival of freedom did bring me some shock. I am not used to it. But after I make myself confortable to the situation where I know how to manage my freedom, I fall back to a place where my freedom is once again restricted.

Living under the same roof does spark a lot of problems. I am counting down the days I am heading back to Australia, and look forward to it. I will miss my family, but not the house.

A Gathering

Today, I had a short but enjoyable gathering with my secondary schoolmates. It was nice to see how each other had chosen their own path for the future. I am not writing these to share the conversation that took place today. But rather, I am writing to share the thoughts I have after the gathering.

Once upon a time, we were the top students in the class. There were endless fights to see who will the number in the class, and hence the whole form. Those were the days when we will compare our marks after each exam, just to see who get the highest marks. We will even jolt down each other marks for record, just to make the job of comparing each other marks easier afterwards. Those were the days when we will be very careful on what we will do, just to prevent others from getting higher scores. For example, if one have some particular tips for the coming test, he / she will not hesitate to keep it for himself / herself. On hindsight, this kind of mentality is so selfish. Something that I will not do nowadays.

What sparks my idea for this post is, as we meet again today after so many years, we did mention back about what we had done those days. Suddenly, we have the consensus that those acts are so pointless. What's the point of winning someone when studying is suppose to be meant for yourself. Not to win, not to impress anyone, not to gain scholarship, not to please your parents, but for your own knowledge. Gaining knowledge while we still can will provide us an opportunity to know more things, to think more maturely, that's suppose to be the way we study.

As for now, studying to me is just for myself. I study for my own improvements, and with that, I send regards to everyone out there who is studying, study smart, study hard to improve yourself! Till we meet again. Bye!

Reboot...

Less than a month I announce the temporarily closure of my blog, I always have a feeling that I lost something. It's like suddenly I fall short of a channel to speak out what is inside my thought. Therefore, I came to the decision that I shall still make good use of my blog to tell my story, despite the fact that I might do it less frequently.

Something must have happen to make me spawn the thought of rebooting my blog. In fact, yes, this incident happened just on the second day of Chinese New Year. Let's switch the language.

就在年初二的那一天， 我家里发生了一些极其不愉快的事情。 的确带给我很大的冲击， 因为那件事， 让我开始怀疑我自懂事以来所做过的大决定是否正确。 不说远的，就拿我这次回马来西亚，我原本是想在马来西亚多逗留几天， 多陪陪家人， 岂料却有更多的事情发生， 让我不禁质疑， 有些人是否永远都不会改变， 只会活在自己的世界里， 不懂得去关心别人。 我真的是非常失望， 我已心灰意冷。 现在的我， 已开始说服自己， 是时候放下了。 我已无法忍受这种心灵上的折磨， 是时候我为自己而活！

Well, what exactly had happened? I don't think I should mention it here. But one thing for sure, it had done enough damage to my inner heart. I am not Iron Man, my heart is made from flesh and blood. If somebody stab it once, it can heal; but what if that person continuously stab it for 10 years, even it heal, there will be lots of scars, which will exists forever, till the day I am gone forever.

For now, I think this is enough. Just venting some anger that accumulated in my heart for the past few weeks. See you all soon. Thanks for reading this. Bye!