A step-by-step guide to getting over your best friend, close friend or significant other betraying you.
Step 1Do not try to push the betrayal from your mind to deal with later. Find a safe comfortable place (I prefer the back porch, the shower or the kitchen table). Dwell on what happened.
The human mind can only focus on things for a set amount of time. Go over every detail, start to finish. Actively think about what has happened.
When you feel you have mentally covered the entire incident, move on to Step 2.
Step 2Pick one thing you love to do and go do it. It doesn't matter that you probably "don't feel like it". Whether it's driving around town, lifting weights or singing to your house cat, do it. And do it again tomorrow.
On this one, only pick healthy things--no drinking, cutting, drugs, or bad decisions. This will, ultimately, make moving on harder.
Step 3Call three or more old friends, preferably three you don't speak to often. Make plans, throw a party, meet up for lunch, whatever you like. Just spend time with different faces. These friends will probably ask how you are doing. Tell them all about your current life aside from the betrayal. If you need to talk about it, add it as an after thought and state it with a positive.
EX: "[name] and I are no longer speaking, but it's given me a better perspective on [this]."
Studies show that the more you act and speak like you feel great, the better you will actually feel. If you need proof of this, next time you have a back/muscle ache, don't tell anyone about it.
Give everyone a genuine smile when you speak to them. You'll feel a lot better, sooner.
Step 4Make a list of things you felt you couldn't do when your life included the betrayer, or a list of things they never provided for you emotionally.
Betrayers are rarely good friends after you put their behavior in perspective. They were most likely deficient in many ways as your friend or lover. Now burn the paper you wrote the list on, or if you made the list in your head, imagine it burning to ash.
Now go do your favorite healthy activity again. Do it every day until the hurt of that betrayal has passed. If it really is a healthy pass time, you will find yourself a much better person by the time the hurt has passed.
Tips & Warnings
Actively seek out other friends to spend time with. Humans are social beings; sequestering yourself often leads to bitterness, depression and fear of returning to society.
Get yourself on a schedule if you're lacking one, or change it up if your life is usually very structured. Change gives you something to think about besides the pain.
Never use drugs, alcohol, or self-harm to "escape" the pain. You WILL bring yourself more pain.
Step 2
Pick one thing you love to do and go do it. It doesn't matter that you probably "don't feel like it".
Whether it's driving around town, lifting weights or singing to your house cat, do it.
And do it again tomorrow.
On this one, only pick healthy things--no drinking, cutting, drugs, or bad decisions. This will, ultimately, make moving on harder.
Step 3
Call three or more old friends, preferably three you don't speak to often. Make plans, throw a party, meet up for lunch, whatever you like. Just spend time with different faces.
These friends will probably ask how you are doing. Tell them all about your current life aside from the betrayal. If you need to talk about it, add it as an after thought and state it with a positive.
EX: "[name] and I are no longer speaking, but it's given me a better perspective on [this]."
Studies show that the more you act and speak like you feel great, the better you will actually feel. If you need proof of this, next time you have a back/muscle ache, don't tell anyone about it. Give everyone a genuine smile when you speak to them.
You'll feel a lot better, sooner.
Step 4
Make a list of things you felt you couldn't do when your life included the betrayer, or a list of things they never provided for you emotionally.
Betrayers are rarely good friends after you put their behavior in perspective. They were most likely deficient in many ways as your friend or lover.
Now burn the paper you wrote the list on, or if you made the list in your head, imagine it burning to ash.
Now go do your favorite healthy activity again. Do it every day until the hurt of that betrayal has passed. If it really is a healthy pass time, you will find yourself a much better person by the time the hurt has passed.
To maintain a moderate lifestyle - Easy