Hi ALL,
Tomorrow is my computing final exam, but yet I just feel like writing something. Reflecting what I have achieve since I got to Sydney, I realise I did not achieve much. Well, some of the things that I know I am slowly achieving are things like decision making, more independent (especially after I moved out) and become more Happy-Go-Lucky. How so? Now I am in Sydney, away from home, everyday I have to make a lot of decision, such as what to eat, where to go, what to do next, etc. Sometimes snap decisions have to be made. Sometimes the decision is correct, sometimes it is wrong. Sometimes I regret on my decision, sometimes I am happy that I made the decision. There are ups and downs in these decision making process. I just hope that with more experience, I will be able to make better decision from now on.
I wish I will be given a chance to start my life in Sydney all over again. In that way, I will be able to rectify the mistake I did since I got here. I wish I will get the chance to restart my pre-u life, so that I can be a more happy person (rather than be a slave of books). I wish I will get the chance to be in secondary school again, so that I can be a teenager again; teenager = youthful life. I spend my secondary school time mostly on books, now I wonder what I would have gain if I have a more outgoing lifestyle. I regret, but what can I do. Some of these are up to me, while some are not. The only thing I can hope now is to pass the exam, and then try to change myself after the exam. I really wish that I could be a more outgoing person. But, do I have the courage?
Well, this is life isn't it, ups and downs, it is just never perfect. Looking back at my decision to become an engineer, I wonder why I choose that too? Looking across all the careers, I remember at that time, I don't even know what I like and what I want to do. On reflection, I just realise this is largely due to the fact that I concentrate too much of my energy on examinations during secondary school. I didn't really give a serious thought on what my real interest is, what I really want to be. In the end, I simply choose engineering. But, in fact, I don't even know what I really want to be. Sigh... I have made many mistakes during my secondary school life, which indirectly lead to the current state I am in now. Now I just wish I will slowly fall in love with engineering and live with it for the rest of my life.
Well, there is one good thing though. I have found my new motto: Happy-Go-Lucky. It is time to embrace this kind of spirit. I want to be a happy person, I don't want to care what others might think of me (like insisting I should study hard), I just want to live my own life, and this is what I choose to be. At least for the next few years, I wonder can I continue this once I enter the work force. Lol..
Let's leave this for now. Kind of hungry. Time to catch some food. Haha.. Bye.. Take care everyone.
2 comments:
I like your new motto "Happy-Go-Lucky"! it will never be too late for you to start a life which you are happy with :) I never be a bookworm cos i just can't stand to study all the times :p i was quite outgoing when i was in my secondary school but at the end i still can't choose the course that i am really interested to do. my family object my decisions. that's why i don't think it's wrong for you to focus in your studies during secondary. at least now u got the scholarship and came to sydney for more exposure. You have FREEDOM now!
undergraduate studies is just a stepping stone. it doesn't mean that u must be a boring engineer. This is your life, you can still go for other options :) working life is not really bad, depends on what you want. i can't deny that we need be more REALISTIC. btw, always remember your motto "Happy-Go-Lucky"! Good luck and take good care there :D
Thank you Yin Kia.
I guess a lot of people also share the same condition. Well, hope that I can continue be the person I want to be. Good luck to you too. Cheers.
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